Free For All!
FREE FOR ALL!
DEATH is a great leveller! Now, don't ask me who said this profound thing. I had read that statement somewhere. Now, please don't ask me WHERE. I don't, for my life, remember when, where and who said that. But, believe me, whoever said that has said the right thing. Death, indeed, is a great leveller; brings everyone, rich and poor, big and small, fat and thin, to one level.
TALKING of great levellers, how about a barber? Doesn't he also do the same? I mean, bring everyone to the same level? Everyone has to bow down to him, sometime or the other, isn't it? During the DSF-1998 (Dubai Shopping Festival, for the uninitiated), when I was in Dubai, I discovered another great 'leveller', something that brings everyone to the same level and the same line. Free gifts! Yes, I am talking about free gifts.
NO, I am not talking about the free gifts that the clever (cunning, if you may) advertisers advertise all over the newspapers and magazines in bold, big print while the catchline is always in small print. You may have read such things aplenty, isn't it? "FREE PENCIL … on every purchase of only Rs. 250/= or so." The free gifts may vary; the amount to be spent on your purchase may differ; the words in the ad may change. But the message is loud and clear. The appeal is for everyone who loves free gifts. But I am not talking of such gifts either. I am talking of something totally different, totally free, with no strings attached of purchase necessary. Just fill in the coupon attached and present it. In this case, at Podium No. 5 at the Bur Juman Center.
I AM sure everyone must have read this ad that appeared faithfully every week in Khaleej Times during the DSF-'98. And the free gift advertised was … hold your breath … a 100ml bottle of the exclusive Blue for Men, Made in Dubai by Rasasi. I don't know about all of you, but I love free gifts. I used to regularly visit all the fairs and exhibitions that kept coming to Dubai or Sharjah regularly. And collect all free gifts on offer, even if it was only the colourful bags. So, how could I stay away from a free gift of an exclusive perfume bottle for men?
ARMED with the coupon duly filled in and neatly cut from Khaleej Times, I left home early morning. After all, I didn't want to be the 201st visitor. You see, only the first 200 visitors with the coupon were entitled for the free gift. I didn't have the patience to walk the small distance. (At other times, I am a great one for walking long and short distances.) Nor I wanted to wait for the municipal bus and be left behind. When I left home, I was quite ready to bet my last dirham that I would be among the first ten at least. Sorry to say I was rather disappointed to find that quite a few had already lined up before me. (And I had thought I would be the only one to read the paper that early!)
AND that's when I stumbled upon the great theory about free gifts being the great leveller, in competition with Death (and the barber). There were all kinds of people in the serpentine queue … rich and poor; big and small; young and old; males and females. How naïve I was to think the 'Blue for Men' was only for men. There was great excitement all over. Some people were talking about the number of coupons they had collected from different sources. Just then, somewhere in the distance, I heard the security sta
ff complaining about how all the complimentary copies of Khaleej Times from the mall had gone missing. At regular intervals, hands went up to have a 'dekho' at the wristwatches. And then someone informed that the stall would open only at 10 o' clock. For a brief moment I was tempted to go back and catch up on my cuppa tea that I had forgotten to drink in the excitement to rush to the mall. But when I saw the crowds trickling in, I changed my mind. The clock ticktocked away, slowly but surely. And then everyone turned to look at someone who looked like someone who could be in charge of the free gifts. And indeed, he was.
"WHAT'S the catch?" I managed to ask him in whispers.
"NO CATCH", he said loudly. "Just grab. We want everyone to grab the spirit of DSF-'98."
SOON he was joined by another colleague of his. And they started… not handing out the free gifts, but collecting the coupons, one by one, to be exchanged for another card to be filled in. "Fill in this card and take it to Level Two for your free gift of Blue for Men," he patiently informed everyone who gave the coupons.
ONE woman grumbled, "Now, why do we have to go to Level Two?" Another joined with, "If you want to give a free gift, why don't you just do it right here, at whatever level we are?" Another protesting voice was heard, "I gave you two coupons but you have given me only one card."
THE GENTLEMAN tried to explain, "Madam, the ad says very clearly 'One coupon per person'."
"BUT this second coupon is for my man who is away at the office," came the pat reply.
"MY ten coupons are for the staff members working for our office. Surely, you don't expect them to leave their work and line up here for your free gifts. I have come on their behalf since they have got better things to do," said yet another.
AT THIS ten others in the line flashed the coupons in their hands and started screaming.
THE man in charge explained coolly, "Madam, there are people waiting in the line for so long. If you want another card, come back and join the line once again."
THE lady lost her cool and said, "With so many people in line, do you think my turn will come again? You must be crazy. Who wants your free gifts… At least give me one more card. I have waited soooo long." The man lost his defences and gave her another card to be filled in. She left with a victorious smile and headed for Level Two.
"MADAM, would you like to try this new line of perfumes?" said the saleslady in the perfume shop at Level Two.
"ARE you crazy or something?" said 'Madam'. "I have already wasted so much time waiting in the line for the free gift of a perfume. Who wants to buy and try your new line of perfumes? Just hand me the free perfume bottle and let me go."
THE SALESLADY shrugged her shoulders and gave her one 100ml bottle of Blue for Men. But she didn't budge. "Where is my other bottle?" she demanded, "I gave you two cards."
"MADAM, one free gift per person," the saleslady said, as cool as the blue perfume bottle she was giving away.
"I HAVE heard that line from the chap below. And he gave me only two cards for the ten coupons I had collected from different sources. Who are you to stop me, enh?" The lady seemed to be in no mood to give up her cool … free bottle of one more Blue for Men.
"SORRY, Ma'am, one bottle …"
"I DEMAND two…"
"ONLY one…"
"I NEED two…"
"… ONE…"
"I BEG for two…"
NO ONE was ready to give up.
AND THEN THERE WAS A FREE FOR ALL.
DEATH is a great leveller! Now, don't ask me who said this profound thing. I had read that statement somewhere. Now, please don't ask me WHERE. I don't, for my life, remember when, where and who said that. But, believe me, whoever said that has said the right thing. Death, indeed, is a great leveller; brings everyone, rich and poor, big and small, fat and thin, to one level.
TALKING of great levellers, how about a barber? Doesn't he also do the same? I mean, bring everyone to the same level? Everyone has to bow down to him, sometime or the other, isn't it? During the DSF-1998 (Dubai Shopping Festival, for the uninitiated), when I was in Dubai, I discovered another great 'leveller', something that brings everyone to the same level and the same line. Free gifts! Yes, I am talking about free gifts.
NO, I am not talking about the free gifts that the clever (cunning, if you may) advertisers advertise all over the newspapers and magazines in bold, big print while the catchline is always in small print. You may have read such things aplenty, isn't it? "FREE PENCIL … on every purchase of only Rs. 250/= or so." The free gifts may vary; the amount to be spent on your purchase may differ; the words in the ad may change. But the message is loud and clear. The appeal is for everyone who loves free gifts. But I am not talking of such gifts either. I am talking of something totally different, totally free, with no strings attached of purchase necessary. Just fill in the coupon attached and present it. In this case, at Podium No. 5 at the Bur Juman Center.
I AM sure everyone must have read this ad that appeared faithfully every week in Khaleej Times during the DSF-'98. And the free gift advertised was … hold your breath … a 100ml bottle of the exclusive Blue for Men, Made in Dubai by Rasasi. I don't know about all of you, but I love free gifts. I used to regularly visit all the fairs and exhibitions that kept coming to Dubai or Sharjah regularly. And collect all free gifts on offer, even if it was only the colourful bags. So, how could I stay away from a free gift of an exclusive perfume bottle for men?
ARMED with the coupon duly filled in and neatly cut from Khaleej Times, I left home early morning. After all, I didn't want to be the 201st visitor. You see, only the first 200 visitors with the coupon were entitled for the free gift. I didn't have the patience to walk the small distance. (At other times, I am a great one for walking long and short distances.) Nor I wanted to wait for the municipal bus and be left behind. When I left home, I was quite ready to bet my last dirham that I would be among the first ten at least. Sorry to say I was rather disappointed to find that quite a few had already lined up before me. (And I had thought I would be the only one to read the paper that early!)
AND that's when I stumbled upon the great theory about free gifts being the great leveller, in competition with Death (and the barber). There were all kinds of people in the serpentine queue … rich and poor; big and small; young and old; males and females. How naïve I was to think the 'Blue for Men' was only for men. There was great excitement all over. Some people were talking about the number of coupons they had collected from different sources. Just then, somewhere in the distance, I heard the security sta
"WHAT'S the catch?" I managed to ask him in whispers.
"NO CATCH", he said loudly. "Just grab. We want everyone to grab the spirit of DSF-'98."
SOON he was joined by another colleague of his. And they started… not handing out the free gifts, but collecting the coupons, one by one, to be exchanged for another card to be filled in. "Fill in this card and take it to Level Two for your free gift of Blue for Men," he patiently informed everyone who gave the coupons.
ONE woman grumbled, "Now, why do we have to go to Level Two?" Another joined with, "If you want to give a free gift, why don't you just do it right here, at whatever level we are?" Another protesting voice was heard, "I gave you two coupons but you have given me only one card."
THE GENTLEMAN tried to explain, "Madam, the ad says very clearly 'One coupon per person'."
"BUT this second coupon is for my man who is away at the office," came the pat reply.
"MY ten coupons are for the staff members working for our office. Surely, you don't expect them to leave their work and line up here for your free gifts. I have come on their behalf since they have got better things to do," said yet another.
AT THIS ten others in the line flashed the coupons in their hands and started screaming.
THE man in charge explained coolly, "Madam, there are people waiting in the line for so long. If you want another card, come back and join the line once again."
THE lady lost her cool and said, "With so many people in line, do you think my turn will come again? You must be crazy. Who wants your free gifts… At least give me one more card. I have waited soooo long." The man lost his defences and gave her another card to be filled in. She left with a victorious smile and headed for Level Two.
"MADAM, would you like to try this new line of perfumes?" said the saleslady in the perfume shop at Level Two.
"ARE you crazy or something?" said 'Madam'. "I have already wasted so much time waiting in the line for the free gift of a perfume. Who wants to buy and try your new line of perfumes? Just hand me the free perfume bottle and let me go."
THE SALESLADY shrugged her shoulders and gave her one 100ml bottle of Blue for Men. But she didn't budge. "Where is my other bottle?" she demanded, "I gave you two cards."
"MADAM, one free gift per person," the saleslady said, as cool as the blue perfume bottle she was giving away.
"I HAVE heard that line from the chap below. And he gave me only two cards for the ten coupons I had collected from different sources. Who are you to stop me, enh?" The lady seemed to be in no mood to give up her cool … free bottle of one more Blue for Men.
"SORRY, Ma'am, one bottle …"
"I DEMAND two…"
"ONLY one…"
"I NEED two…"
"… ONE…"
"I BEG for two…"
NO ONE was ready to give up.
AND THEN THERE WAS A FREE FOR ALL.
Tags & Keywords : Great leveller. Free gifts on purchase of something. Free gifts without any purchase
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