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It's Not Fair!
IT'S NOT FAIR!
¡°IT'S not fair, I screamed in protest. Unfortunately, even my most violent protests always turned into mild whimpers when talking to Rekha.
BEFORE I knew what hit me, Rekha banged the copies of all the local newspapers on my bed. (I have a sneaky suspicion they were actually meant for my head, and not the bed). I had just returned from a gruelling night shift. Not wanting to disturb my ‘better half' (?) when I walked in, I had changed into my night suit and hopped onto the bed quietly (or so I had thought!). Just as my eyes were closing under the weight of sleep, I felt the weight of the newspapers, with the near-hundred-page supplements that the newspapers come out with from time to time, perhaps to be used as spread-sheets for lunches and dinners the very next day. And then came the inevitable stinging question, ¡°Are we, or are we NOT going to the Consumers' fair tomorrow?
AND I had protested in the voice of a whimpering mouse, ¡°It's not fair!
¡°YOU know nothing, Rekha countered as she banged the heavy-weight newspapers onto my bed. And with that, whatever little sleep that was coming my way ¨C and the pretty dream-girls to follow ¨C vanished into thin air with this violent attack from ‘My Fair Lady'.
¡°HERE are the full-page ads in the supplements announcing the opening of the Consumers' Fair at the Bandra-Kurla Complex. How can you then say, ‘It's not fair'? Rekha continued persistently.
AND I almost chuckled under my breath at her ignorance, but on second thoughts preferred not to provoke her further by venturing into anything louder.
¡°YOU have been putting it off for the last so many days, ever since the ads started appearing. Look, if you don't want to take me to the fair, better tell me so straight on my face¡
¡°YOU mean, you will take my ‘No' for an answer and forget the fair? I asked gleefully, jumping out of the bed.
¡°FORGET it? You forget it. If you don't want to take me to the fair, you can tell me so straight on my face. Then I will go alone with all my friends from the Ladies' Society. Understand?
¡°TELL me, darling, is it absolutely necessary to go for the fair? I said sweetly, hoping desperately to win the day¡ oops, the night with the armour of love.
¡°LOOK dear, why don't YOU understand that I want to go for the Fair for your own sweet sake? Rekha cooed more sweetly.
FOR my sake? I felt myself suspended into the thin air (with a thinner bungee-jumping wire)) where my dream-girls had vanished a while ago. ¡°And may I know HOW, I asked with an unbelievable air of innocence.
¡°LOOK here, Rekha held the paper in front of my sleepy eyes as she so graciously read it out for my sweet sake, ¡°¡last few pieces left at bargain prices! Come to the Consumers' Fair at the Bandra-Kurla Complex and get yourself a deal that is absolutely fair.
¡°AND what's new this time?
‘PANASONIC DVD Players.
¡°BUT wasn't that what we got the last time we visited the fair?
¡°NO, no, no. That wasn't the Panasonic DVD Player. That was the Panasonic 40 inches TV, with Picture-in-Picture. And it wasn't from this Fair at Bandra-Kurla Complex. It was at the Fair at Andheri Sports Complex. For your kind information, that was
the Fair at which they had offered electronic items at real bargain prices. Remember? she tried explaining patiently to an impatiently sleepy me.
¡°YES, at least that's what you said when we went to that Fair. And we ended up buying six sarees, one Sanyo Food Factory, twelve non-stick frying pans, the 40-inches Panasonic TV and a semi-automatic LG washing machine¡
¡°¡ AND all at real bargain prices. Why do you forget that? Rekha said. ¡°And besides, the washing machine wasn't purchased at the Andheri Sports Complex Fair.
¡°WHAT do you mean?, I asked, getting more and more puzzled.
¡°THE LG automatic washing machine was bought at the NSE Goregaon Fair, she said, trying not to lose patience ¡ and the battle.
¡°BUT wasn't the NSE Goregaon Fair held last year? I asked more innocently.
¡°OH my god, that was the Spring Fair, held at the World Trade Centre Hall. The washing machine was bought at the Autumn Fair held in year 2006, she explained, a little loudly this time. It was getting clear that she was losing patience slowly but surely.
THAT, of course, didn't help me any. I was still as confused as the star batsman who refuses to walk out of the ground even when the Umpire has declared him clean bowled. ¡°But, dear, I distinctly remember walking out of the same Fair with a cartload of things¡
¡°NO dear, when we walked out with a cartload of things that was from the Winter Fair held at the grounds next to Bandra Reclamation, a month earlier. You are clearly confusing one fair with another. You see, the NSE Goregaon ground organizes a fair almost every two months, she said impatiently.
¡°AND we come out of all these fairs, heavier with goods and lighter in cash. That's what you mean? I asked in sheer exasperation ¡ or whatever it is that you feel at such testing times.
¡°FOR god's sake, why are you always complaining? Why don't you look at the brighter side? We don't always use cash for these purchases. We use the different bank cards you have. And the things we buy at these fairs are sold a lot cheaper than outside, Rekha argued.
¡°AND that's what I am trying to complain about. Because the things are sold cheaper at these dozen fairs, we go all the way to these fairs ¨C petrol costs money ¨C buy tickets for the entrance and then buy a whole lot of things we could otherwise have done without. Enh, now what do you have to say to that?, I said, now nearly wide awake.
¡°SO, in short, you are NOT taking me for this Fair, enh? Well, you have left me with no choice. I will go alone with all my friends from the Ladies Society this time¡ she paused for a while and then continued. ¡°Hope you will join me at the Pakistani Trade Fair opening at the Taj Inter-Continental lobby the day after tomorrow. Remember, by doing this, we will be contributing towards developing better ties with our neighbouring country. And we can go by a taxi, so you don't have to complain about spending for petrol money. Since it is in the hotel lobby, the entrance is free, so you can save some cash. And the Pakistani dresses are really very, verry, verrry cheap, compared to Indian dresses¡
AND for the first time in ten years of my successful married life, I screamed ¡ really SCREAMED I mean and not the screams that always turned into whimpers. I screamed at Rekha, ¡°IT'S NOT FAIR.
¡AND with that, I pulled the sheet over my head (to save it from being hurt) as I threw the bundles of local newspapers, with the near-hundred-page supplements, back at Rekha's head!!!
¡°IT'S not fair, I screamed in protest. Unfortunately, even my most violent protests always turned into mild whimpers when talking to Rekha.
BEFORE I knew what hit me, Rekha banged the copies of all the local newspapers on my bed. (I have a sneaky suspicion they were actually meant for my head, and not the bed). I had just returned from a gruelling night shift. Not wanting to disturb my ‘better half' (?) when I walked in, I had changed into my night suit and hopped onto the bed quietly (or so I had thought!). Just as my eyes were closing under the weight of sleep, I felt the weight of the newspapers, with the near-hundred-page supplements that the newspapers come out with from time to time, perhaps to be used as spread-sheets for lunches and dinners the very next day. And then came the inevitable stinging question, ¡°Are we, or are we NOT going to the Consumers' fair tomorrow?
AND I had protested in the voice of a whimpering mouse, ¡°It's not fair!
¡°YOU know nothing, Rekha countered as she banged the heavy-weight newspapers onto my bed. And with that, whatever little sleep that was coming my way ¨C and the pretty dream-girls to follow ¨C vanished into thin air with this violent attack from ‘My Fair Lady'.
¡°HERE are the full-page ads in the supplements announcing the opening of the Consumers' Fair at the Bandra-Kurla Complex. How can you then say, ‘It's not fair'? Rekha continued persistently.
AND I almost chuckled under my breath at her ignorance, but on second thoughts preferred not to provoke her further by venturing into anything louder.
¡°YOU have been putting it off for the last so many days, ever since the ads started appearing. Look, if you don't want to take me to the fair, better tell me so straight on my face¡
¡°YOU mean, you will take my ‘No' for an answer and forget the fair? I asked gleefully, jumping out of the bed.
¡°FORGET it? You forget it. If you don't want to take me to the fair, you can tell me so straight on my face. Then I will go alone with all my friends from the Ladies' Society. Understand?
¡°TELL me, darling, is it absolutely necessary to go for the fair? I said sweetly, hoping desperately to win the day¡ oops, the night with the armour of love.
¡°LOOK dear, why don't YOU understand that I want to go for the Fair for your own sweet sake? Rekha cooed more sweetly.
FOR my sake? I felt myself suspended into the thin air (with a thinner bungee-jumping wire)) where my dream-girls had vanished a while ago. ¡°And may I know HOW, I asked with an unbelievable air of innocence.
¡°LOOK here, Rekha held the paper in front of my sleepy eyes as she so graciously read it out for my sweet sake, ¡°¡last few pieces left at bargain prices! Come to the Consumers' Fair at the Bandra-Kurla Complex and get yourself a deal that is absolutely fair.
¡°AND what's new this time?
‘PANASONIC DVD Players.
¡°BUT wasn't that what we got the last time we visited the fair?
¡°NO, no, no. That wasn't the Panasonic DVD Player. That was the Panasonic 40 inches TV, with Picture-in-Picture. And it wasn't from this Fair at Bandra-Kurla Complex. It was at the Fair at Andheri Sports Complex. For your kind information, that was
¡°YES, at least that's what you said when we went to that Fair. And we ended up buying six sarees, one Sanyo Food Factory, twelve non-stick frying pans, the 40-inches Panasonic TV and a semi-automatic LG washing machine¡
¡°¡ AND all at real bargain prices. Why do you forget that? Rekha said. ¡°And besides, the washing machine wasn't purchased at the Andheri Sports Complex Fair.
¡°WHAT do you mean?, I asked, getting more and more puzzled.
¡°THE LG automatic washing machine was bought at the NSE Goregaon Fair, she said, trying not to lose patience ¡ and the battle.
¡°BUT wasn't the NSE Goregaon Fair held last year? I asked more innocently.
¡°OH my god, that was the Spring Fair, held at the World Trade Centre Hall. The washing machine was bought at the Autumn Fair held in year 2006, she explained, a little loudly this time. It was getting clear that she was losing patience slowly but surely.
THAT, of course, didn't help me any. I was still as confused as the star batsman who refuses to walk out of the ground even when the Umpire has declared him clean bowled. ¡°But, dear, I distinctly remember walking out of the same Fair with a cartload of things¡
¡°NO dear, when we walked out with a cartload of things that was from the Winter Fair held at the grounds next to Bandra Reclamation, a month earlier. You are clearly confusing one fair with another. You see, the NSE Goregaon ground organizes a fair almost every two months, she said impatiently.
¡°AND we come out of all these fairs, heavier with goods and lighter in cash. That's what you mean? I asked in sheer exasperation ¡ or whatever it is that you feel at such testing times.
¡°FOR god's sake, why are you always complaining? Why don't you look at the brighter side? We don't always use cash for these purchases. We use the different bank cards you have. And the things we buy at these fairs are sold a lot cheaper than outside, Rekha argued.
¡°AND that's what I am trying to complain about. Because the things are sold cheaper at these dozen fairs, we go all the way to these fairs ¨C petrol costs money ¨C buy tickets for the entrance and then buy a whole lot of things we could otherwise have done without. Enh, now what do you have to say to that?, I said, now nearly wide awake.
¡°SO, in short, you are NOT taking me for this Fair, enh? Well, you have left me with no choice. I will go alone with all my friends from the Ladies Society this time¡ she paused for a while and then continued. ¡°Hope you will join me at the Pakistani Trade Fair opening at the Taj Inter-Continental lobby the day after tomorrow. Remember, by doing this, we will be contributing towards developing better ties with our neighbouring country. And we can go by a taxi, so you don't have to complain about spending for petrol money. Since it is in the hotel lobby, the entrance is free, so you can save some cash. And the Pakistani dresses are really very, verry, verrry cheap, compared to Indian dresses¡
AND for the first time in ten years of my successful married life, I screamed ¡ really SCREAMED I mean and not the screams that always turned into whimpers. I screamed at Rekha, ¡°IT'S NOT FAIR.
¡AND with that, I pulled the sheet over my head (to save it from being hurt) as I threw the bundles of local newspapers, with the near-hundred-page supplements, back at Rekha's head!!!
Tags & Keywords : Electronics... Consumer Fairs... buying of useless items
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